Trust is the foundation of any healthy relationship, but after experiencing a toxic dynamic, rebuilding trust can feel daunting. The truth is, before we can trust others, we must first learn to trust ourselves—and that’s no small feat. In this article I will explain where this can come from, and give you a simple 5 step exercise to reconnect with your inner child and rebuild self-trust.

Understanding the Roots of Self-Trust Issues

Our willingness to stay in toxic and painful relationships as an adult is often the result of having grown up in an environment where healthy love and secure attachment were not consistently available. Those who later find themselves attracted to toxic dynamics may have felt unheard and invalidated as a child. They may have been taught to question their intuition, leading to a deep-seated lack of self-trust. This lack of self-trust is carried into adulthood through our "inner child" and shapes the way we approach relationships.

To heal we need to reestablish a connection with our inner-child, by tuning into the sensations in the body and listen to the messages that were silenced. By reparenting our inner child with love, reassurance and trust we can start to heal those earlier wounds and attract healthier relationships now.

A Simple 5-Step Exercise to Rebuild Self-Trust

1. Find a quiet space. Sit comfortably with your eyes closed or gently gazing downward. Create an environment where you feel safe and undisturbed.

2. Tune into your body. Bring your awareness to the sensations in your body. Notice any tension, for instance, perhaps you feel a tension in your arm, or some jitters in your tummy, or tightness in your shoulders or chest.

3. Listen to the sensation. Ask the sensation what it would like to say, be patient and open to whatever arises. This is your inner child communicating with you.

4. Offer reassurance. Tell the sensation how old you are now, and gently remind it that you are an adult and here to take care of them. Let your inner child know they are safe with you.

5. Respond with Love. Listen to what your body wants to tell you and respond with what you think it needs to hear (for instance, some phrases I've noticed in my practice are "you are not alone", "I am with you", "I am taking care of you now", "I trust you and I believe you").

The Power of Reparenting

This process of healing and reparenting is a cornerstone of the work I do with my clients. Using somatic techniques like this exercise, along with approaches such Internal Family Systems and Brainspotting, I guide clients to reconnect with their inner child and repair that self-trust.

Final Thoughts

Trust is a gift we give ourselves first. Cultivating inner trust creates a foundation for healthy, loving relationships and an empowered life. It’s a journey, yes—but one that leads to the love and connection we all deserve.

If you’re ready to start building self-trust and healing from toxic relationship patterns, I’d love to support you on this journey. Book a free consultation today and let's get started.

Author - Rosie Fox, ICF & CPD Certified Coach specialising in Toxic Relationship Recovery, trained in counselling (BACP), NLP, and trauma-informed approaches. Dedicated to helping women heal after toxic relationships and create the life they deserve.